There is no denying it...Mothers and Fathers are different. When it comes to their children, they play differently, teach differently, discipline differently, and respond differently. Sometimes those differences are fantastic...and other times....I'm not so sure. I'll let you be the judge of this one.
Task: To train Olivia (2 years old) to hold our hand while crossing the street or while in a parking lot.
Mother's Way
Each time Olivia and I would be faced with either of these situation, I would say, "Hold my hand. We are going into the parking lot/crossing the street." If she started to resist I would say "You have to hold my hand in the parking lot to be safe. Please hold my hand." If she continued to resist, I would pick her up and carry her repeating the above information. I would also state that she could walk if she held my hand. (By the way...did you know it is VERY hard to carry a 20 lbs baby, a crying 23 lbs toddler and bags at the same time?!?!). Gratefully, she now reaches for my hand automatically...most of the time.
Father's Way
Wayne was out walking on a sidewalk with Olivia...and she wanted to continue to walk out onto the road. So Wayne got down to her level, pointed to some cars passing and said, "See those cars Olivia? If you go out there, one of them will hit you" (he then gently hit/pushed her) and said "and it will hurt!" A nice fatherly hands on demonstration.
Well, yesterday we were in a Walmart parking lot. I was carrying Pamela and Wayne had Olivia walking with him. Naturally he asked her to hold his hand, but she resisted (she was waaaaayyy overtired!) and so Wayne eventually had to pick her up. Olivia was crying and then looked at Wayne, hit her chest repeatedly and said "car...hurt...hurt". There was no doubt she was talking about Daddy's Lesson a few weeks ago. I wonder if the fear in her eyes was a good thing...or a bad thing?
Are our methods different? Yes. Are they both effective? I think so. Are they both developmentally appropriate? I'll let you be the judge of that one.
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Lisa! Im so glad you're blogging! More then once I have thought about the Smiths and what is happening with you! So excited you found me on here!!
ReplyDeleteBTW - I LOL at Wayne's way of teaching. Sadly his way, is my way. But sometimes with Carter you need to be a little more descriptive then just saying "safe". :S
I had to laugh at Wayne's method. When Anastasia and I come to a crosswalk with lights, I often squat down to point out to her that the orange hand is saying "don't walk". The best part is that when I squat, Anastasia thinks she should sit. So when we get to a crosswalk at a light, she'll often end up sitting down. I guess at least that we she doesn't run into traffic!
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