I try really hard not to bribe my children. With some chores and tasks that I ask them to do, I expect them to do it with no other reward other than personal satisfaction. There are times, however, when bribery is just what a child needs.
For example...changing poopy diapers. Nobody on this planet enjoys dealing with the excrement of another human being...however...it has to be done. Although my 9 year old will happily take on the task, my 11 year old fights it with every power in her being. As it so happens, my 11 year old just got her babysitters license so she really needs to learn to do this. Is that motivation enough for her? Not a chance.
So we were in a store the other day. They had these toy cat figurines on sale (a whopping $0.50 each) and she asked me if she could get them. She didn't have any money of her own so I asked her how she could earn them. After she listed some chores she is required to do, and I rejected them, she finally said "Change poopy diapers?!". I immediately said "YES!" and clarified that each cat represented a poopy diaper. I half expected her to change her mind and put the cats back, but happily, she has already changed her 1st poopy diaper! Was it torture for her? Yes. You should see how terrified she is of the task. Was it torture for me? Yes. Having to stand to the side, verbally guiding her without actually helping was terribly difficult for me. However…she survived…I survived…and we will do it all over again. I am really, really, really hoping that by the time she earns cat #7, she will be confident in the task!
Side Note:
After Wayne read this post, he shared a quote that his mother would say when he and his siblings would tease her for “bribing” them. It goes like this, “It’s only bribery if you are trying to get a child to do something they aren’t supposed to do. Otherwise, it’s an incentive!”
Sweet! A valid reason to continue “incentiving” my children! (And yes…I did just invent that word).
Incentification: the process of providing incentive or creating motivation
ReplyDeleteIncentivology: the science of creating motivated individuals from nothing.
Word creation is a valid parental perogative (sp?) and is a reflection of our creative ingenuity, not a reflection on our vocabulary or a lack of ability to speak.
As to the whole bribery issue, I'd say bribe away, as long as it doesn't create a dependency or expectation. When used sparingly, it can be an effective parental tool.
umm, rob is trying to sound really smart...
ReplyDeletekadie has had to change her fair share of diapers too. unfortunatly for her i had to guide her first one over the phone. it was a two person job with chase.
i love that our kids are old enough to change diapers, and babysit!