Recently, Wayne changed his business hours from 9am - 6pm. That means he doesn't get home until about 6:30pm. He used to get home at 4:30...so this is taking some adjustment.
I think many mothers would agree that between 4:00 and 6:00 pm is a CRAZY time. In my house, at 4:00 the older kids get home from school, the younger kids wake up from their naps, the older kids want to tell me about their day, the younger kids want to be held, the kids want to watch cartoons but the homework needs to be done, and the worst part of all is that they are all getting hungry! I've started to feed my kids a snack when they get home, but it doesn't seem to be helping the neediness of my two little ones. So...during all this...what else needs to be done?!?!?!? Supper. So, needless to say, my late afternoons have been very stressful lately.
As I was sitting and visiting with a friend a couple nights ago, I had two realizations. Although I KNEW this information...I hadn't taken the time to really process it or make it applicable in my life. And that is:
#1. My children can't change what they are doing at this phase in their life...therefore I need to change. My older children are not going to stop coming home at 4pm, they are not going to stop being excited to tell me about their day (and I don't want them too), and they are not going to stop having homework or being hungry. My two younger kids are not going to stop waking up at 4, they are not going to stop being needy for a while yet, and they will not stop being cranky between 4 and 6. However, I CAN prepare supper BEFORE the craziness begins. So there you have it...I have decided to prepare my supper meals during the day whenever possible. Will this make my evenings peaceful? Not likely. Will it make them less stressful and allow me to be a better mother? Definitely!
#2. This current phase of life is just for a season. Is it a short season? Not really. If I think that after a month my late afternoon life is going to be calm and uneventful...I am naive. So I have decided that for at least a year I need to do everything I can to prepare supper early in the day. Will I succeed 100%. Definitely not. But if I can ease the stress even 50% of the time, I will be a far better mother.
So thank you LV for the engaging conversation that helped me realize I have the ability to ease the stress in my household during those 2 hours. The realization of the situation and the decision to do something about it makes all the difference!
And to those of you who have favorite "make ahead" meals (crock pot included)...please send them to me!!!!!!
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I like your ideas about changing yourself. I've had to do that with house cleaning. I figured out that I am not someone who automatically dusts, organizes, mops, etc. I am good at maintaining (dishes, laundry, vacuum) but not the "less-obivious" jobs to having a clean house. So I made lists, I write in big, colorful print and I post them up in the house so I can keep myself accountable. It's sad to give yourself assignments, but it has worked so well for me!
ReplyDeleteI will think about my supper ideas and send you any "make ahead" ones I find.
Nice! I can picture the type of colorful and cheerful charts you would make! Dull and boring would NOT work for you! ;)
ReplyDeleteLisa, thanks for clarifying that it was "LV" that gave you the advice. I was thinking to myself, this does not sound like the type of advice that would come from "RS". ;)
ReplyDeleteha ha ha. Nice Graham. If there is one thing I admire most about RS and her parenting is her willingness to do anything and everything she wants to with her kids in tow. A truly wonderful skill and attitude...and one I struggle with!
ReplyDeleteI realized many years ago that the part about making supper that I hated most was THINKING about what to make for supper. I think that's a trait I inherited. Anyway, for the last 3 years I've taken some time at the end of the month (ideally) or at the beginning of a new month and made a plan of what to have for supper for an entire month. I get out my recipe books, put in some old favourites, and try some new recipes.
ReplyDeleteIt's been liberating in many ways. For one thing, if I know I have a busy day coming up, I can plan a very simple meal (or a crock pot meal; I love those!). I now have a record of when we last had a meal so I don't duplicate so often (and don't feel guilt with frequent repetition). I also make notes as to how the meal was enjoyed (eg: "this was a DISASTER"), and I don't make those anymore. The plans aren't set in stone, either. I make changes as I need to when something comes up. Ask me when you come to see my binder full of stuff. It might give you some ideas and help that stressful after-school time.
Sounds good! I often will do meal planning as well...but the major hiccup for me has been waiting until 4:30 to start preparing it! It takes a real shift in thinking for me to remember to start cooking at noon.
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