Recently, Wayne changed his business hours from 9am - 6pm. That means he doesn't get home until about 6:30pm. He used to get home at 4:30...so this is taking some adjustment.
I think many mothers would agree that between 4:00 and 6:00 pm is a CRAZY time. In my house, at 4:00 the older kids get home from school, the younger kids wake up from their naps, the older kids want to tell me about their day, the younger kids want to be held, the kids want to watch cartoons but the homework needs to be done, and the worst part of all is that they are all getting hungry! I've started to feed my kids a snack when they get home, but it doesn't seem to be helping the neediness of my two little ones. So...during all this...what else needs to be done?!?!?!? Supper. So, needless to say, my late afternoons have been very stressful lately.
As I was sitting and visiting with a friend a couple nights ago, I had two realizations. Although I KNEW this information...I hadn't taken the time to really process it or make it applicable in my life. And that is:
#1. My children can't change what they are doing at this phase in their life...therefore I need to change. My older children are not going to stop coming home at 4pm, they are not going to stop being excited to tell me about their day (and I don't want them too), and they are not going to stop having homework or being hungry. My two younger kids are not going to stop waking up at 4, they are not going to stop being needy for a while yet, and they will not stop being cranky between 4 and 6. However, I CAN prepare supper BEFORE the craziness begins. So there you have it...I have decided to prepare my supper meals during the day whenever possible. Will this make my evenings peaceful? Not likely. Will it make them less stressful and allow me to be a better mother? Definitely!
#2. This current phase of life is just for a season. Is it a short season? Not really. If I think that after a month my late afternoon life is going to be calm and uneventful...I am naive. So I have decided that for at least a year I need to do everything I can to prepare supper early in the day. Will I succeed 100%. Definitely not. But if I can ease the stress even 50% of the time, I will be a far better mother.
So thank you LV for the engaging conversation that helped me realize I have the ability to ease the stress in my household during those 2 hours. The realization of the situation and the decision to do something about it makes all the difference!
And to those of you who have favorite "make ahead" meals (crock pot included)...please send them to me!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Sibling Affection
Today I witnessed the most ADORABLE scene. My 7 month old was sitting on the floor, and my 22 month old walked up to her, kissed her on the head, hugged her, kissed her again, and then continued on her way.
I treasure those moments of love and affection between siblings because they warm my heart and remind me that I must be doing something right!
I treasure those moments of love and affection between siblings because they warm my heart and remind me that I must be doing something right!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
New Year's Resolutions - Part 2
Well, we are just about done month #3 of 2011...and I am curious...how are you doing on your New Year's Resolutions?
As I mentioned in January, I made little charts in my notebook by my bed, so I can review where I am at on various goals on a regular basis. I am so glad that I wrote these charts in a notebook I open almost everyday...because it has helped keep my goals in my mind and remind me when I am falling behind!
All of my goals this year I realize, are relationship based. My relationship with my husband, with my daughters, and with friends. Here are my results so far:
1. Monthly Interviews with 3 older daughters: I am happy to report that either Wayne or I have done this each month.
2. Monthly dates with girls: Definitely room for improvement. Took all three girls in January, one in February, and scrambling this last week to take the other two for March.
3. Monthly date with Wayne: He has been behind this one, and out of 3 months, he has surprised me TWICE! I am loving it! (For those of you who think a date with just the two of us twice in three months is NOTHING....then I am guessing you don't have 5 kids...two of which are under 2 years old.)
4. Having friends over at least once a month (at least 12 in the year): I am THRILLED with our success with this one. To date we have had 5 different friends/families over and have one scheduled for April already.
Although I can think of countless other areas of my life I would like to improve, for now I am content with these 4 goals. They feel important, they feel doable, and I believe they will make me a better person for doing them. And for today...that is enough.
I would love to hear an update on your resolutions and how you are doing or even if you realize you just need to refocus!
As I mentioned in January, I made little charts in my notebook by my bed, so I can review where I am at on various goals on a regular basis. I am so glad that I wrote these charts in a notebook I open almost everyday...because it has helped keep my goals in my mind and remind me when I am falling behind!
All of my goals this year I realize, are relationship based. My relationship with my husband, with my daughters, and with friends. Here are my results so far:
1. Monthly Interviews with 3 older daughters: I am happy to report that either Wayne or I have done this each month.
2. Monthly dates with girls: Definitely room for improvement. Took all three girls in January, one in February, and scrambling this last week to take the other two for March.
3. Monthly date with Wayne: He has been behind this one, and out of 3 months, he has surprised me TWICE! I am loving it! (For those of you who think a date with just the two of us twice in three months is NOTHING....then I am guessing you don't have 5 kids...two of which are under 2 years old.)
4. Having friends over at least once a month (at least 12 in the year): I am THRILLED with our success with this one. To date we have had 5 different friends/families over and have one scheduled for April already.
Although I can think of countless other areas of my life I would like to improve, for now I am content with these 4 goals. They feel important, they feel doable, and I believe they will make me a better person for doing them. And for today...that is enough.
I would love to hear an update on your resolutions and how you are doing or even if you realize you just need to refocus!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Baby Signs and Expressive Language
Me and my baby get to participate in the Roots of Empathy program at the elementary school. We essentially get to go meet with a grade 5 class (same one all year) every 3 weeks, and they get to experience the relationship I have with my baby, and they get to see her grow up and reach milestones. It is a REALLY fantastic program!
Yesterday, I got to talk a little about Infant Sign Language, which is sign language for babies so that they can communicate before they can talk. (Ideal for 8 months - 2 years old)
The topic started because we were talking about receptive and expressive language. Receptive language is the ability to UNDERSTAND what is being said, and expressive language is the ability to COMMUNICATE what you want to say. Receptive language in babies is developed first, and usually far earlier than most parents realize because a baby does not have the ability to tell anyone what they understand. Using signs, however, enables a baby to develop their expressive language at an incredibly young age and in turn helps them learn to speak sooner.
Let's use my 3rd daughter as an example. She did her first sign when she was 10 months old by "panting" for DOG. Every time she would see her favorite stuffed dog, she would "pant" and we would say "Yes! That is a dog!" At 10 months old, she was able to tell us about something that she was interested in, and we were able share in her interest! By the time she was 12 months old she was using multiple signs like EAT, DRINK, MORE, and ALL DONE. What this meant is that without the need for whining, pointing, and grunting, she was able to tell us what she needed and learned early on that we understood her.
Signing provides the ability for a child to engage in a conversation before being able to speak. One of my favorite example is when my daughter was 13 months old. During the night she had thrown up in bed, but didn't cry so I didn't know. In the morning when I went to get her I said something along the lines of "Oh no! You got DIRTY in your SLEEP. Lets go have a BATH and clean you up." Naturally, as children love repetition, she went through these signs a few times as we went through the process of cleaning her up. However, the best part for me was a conversation we had AN HOUR later while eating breakfast.
She looked at me, put down her spoon and signed DIRTY.
I said "That's right. You were dirty this morning."
She then signed SLEEP.
I said "That's right. You got dirty while you were sleeping."
She then signed BATH.
To which I replied "That's right! You had a bath this morning to clean up!"
And then she went back to eating breakfast.
It was amazing to me to have her bring up a subject that I was NOT thinking about, and realize that I would have had NO IDEA what she was thinking about it if she didn't have the ability to sign to me. Her expressive language was very well developed even at the young age of 13 months old!
I feel very fortunate that I accidentally discovered The Baby Signs Program 11 years ago, and that I've had the privilege of enhancing the expressive language of my children at very young ages! What fun we have had!
Yesterday, I got to talk a little about Infant Sign Language, which is sign language for babies so that they can communicate before they can talk. (Ideal for 8 months - 2 years old)
The topic started because we were talking about receptive and expressive language. Receptive language is the ability to UNDERSTAND what is being said, and expressive language is the ability to COMMUNICATE what you want to say. Receptive language in babies is developed first, and usually far earlier than most parents realize because a baby does not have the ability to tell anyone what they understand. Using signs, however, enables a baby to develop their expressive language at an incredibly young age and in turn helps them learn to speak sooner.
Let's use my 3rd daughter as an example. She did her first sign when she was 10 months old by "panting" for DOG. Every time she would see her favorite stuffed dog, she would "pant" and we would say "Yes! That is a dog!" At 10 months old, she was able to tell us about something that she was interested in, and we were able share in her interest! By the time she was 12 months old she was using multiple signs like EAT, DRINK, MORE, and ALL DONE. What this meant is that without the need for whining, pointing, and grunting, she was able to tell us what she needed and learned early on that we understood her.
Signing provides the ability for a child to engage in a conversation before being able to speak. One of my favorite example is when my daughter was 13 months old. During the night she had thrown up in bed, but didn't cry so I didn't know. In the morning when I went to get her I said something along the lines of "Oh no! You got DIRTY in your SLEEP. Lets go have a BATH and clean you up." Naturally, as children love repetition, she went through these signs a few times as we went through the process of cleaning her up. However, the best part for me was a conversation we had AN HOUR later while eating breakfast.
She looked at me, put down her spoon and signed DIRTY.
I said "That's right. You were dirty this morning."
She then signed SLEEP.
I said "That's right. You got dirty while you were sleeping."
She then signed BATH.
To which I replied "That's right! You had a bath this morning to clean up!"
And then she went back to eating breakfast.
It was amazing to me to have her bring up a subject that I was NOT thinking about, and realize that I would have had NO IDEA what she was thinking about it if she didn't have the ability to sign to me. Her expressive language was very well developed even at the young age of 13 months old!
I feel very fortunate that I accidentally discovered The Baby Signs Program 11 years ago, and that I've had the privilege of enhancing the expressive language of my children at very young ages! What fun we have had!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Baby Talk
My 4th daughter is 22 months old now and really starting to talk up a storm! This is such a fun age too, since so many of her words are adorable baby approximations! All of her "L's" and "R's" sound like "W's"...and with her cute little voice...she is just adorable.
What I have found, however, is that her older sisters (and parents) don't sound nearly as cute when we imitate her! Not only that, but if we were to continue to use baby talk with her, she would have a difficult time learning to pronounce words properly, and would have a greater chance of developing a speech impediment.
Not only do we avoid using baby talk with our toddlers, but we also strive to re-say the word they are saying with the proper pronunciation. For example, our toddler LOVES apples and cheese, and when she asks for it, it sounds like "happle eese"...to which I reply, "Apples and cheese? You want some apples and cheese?" This provides her the opportunity to hear the proper way to say what she wants to, and sometimes she tries again. She is still too little to actually pronounce it completely, however, I want to make sure she knows how it is supposed to sound when she is ready.
And if she continues to use baby talk when she is older, I will get down to her level, and encourage her to try pronouncing it properly. If she asks for a "baff"...I will get down...say "baTH? Say baTH"...and encourage her to practice the "th" sound.
As parents, it is our job to teach our children skills. Language and speech is no different. It is much easier to shape our child's speech when they are just learning rather than trying to retrain them when they are older. Being aware of how our children are pronouncing words, and encouraging them to develop good speech habits is helping them for the future.
Of course, using regular speech with our children and encouraging them to pronounce words properly does not guarantee they won't have a speech impediment. And if that is the case, how grateful I am for professionals to help our children!
What I have found, however, is that her older sisters (and parents) don't sound nearly as cute when we imitate her! Not only that, but if we were to continue to use baby talk with her, she would have a difficult time learning to pronounce words properly, and would have a greater chance of developing a speech impediment.
Not only do we avoid using baby talk with our toddlers, but we also strive to re-say the word they are saying with the proper pronunciation. For example, our toddler LOVES apples and cheese, and when she asks for it, it sounds like "happle eese"...to which I reply, "Apples and cheese? You want some apples and cheese?" This provides her the opportunity to hear the proper way to say what she wants to, and sometimes she tries again. She is still too little to actually pronounce it completely, however, I want to make sure she knows how it is supposed to sound when she is ready.
And if she continues to use baby talk when she is older, I will get down to her level, and encourage her to try pronouncing it properly. If she asks for a "baff"...I will get down...say "baTH? Say baTH"...and encourage her to practice the "th" sound.
As parents, it is our job to teach our children skills. Language and speech is no different. It is much easier to shape our child's speech when they are just learning rather than trying to retrain them when they are older. Being aware of how our children are pronouncing words, and encouraging them to develop good speech habits is helping them for the future.
Of course, using regular speech with our children and encouraging them to pronounce words properly does not guarantee they won't have a speech impediment. And if that is the case, how grateful I am for professionals to help our children!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Toddlers and Art
My 20 month old is just starting to really enjoy scribbling. And not just scribbling, but scribbling with purpose! Just this morning she drew a lovely picture, and when I asked her about it she enthusiastically said "Fa-Fwy, Fa-Fwy" which is "Butterfly". It is always an exciting moment for me when my children start labeling their scribbles, and this morning was no different! As I was talking to my toddler about her drawing, I was reminded of a couple "rules" I made 11 years ago when my first daughter started drawing, and I realized I need to renew them with our whole family.
The first rule is: If you want to ask what a picture is, do NOT ask "What is it?". Instead say "Tell me about your picture." The reason for this is simple. If you tell a child they've drawn a really nice picture, and then in the next sentence ask them what it is....isn't that a contradiction? The problem, however, is that in the early stages of drawing it is IMPOSSIBLE to know what a child has drawn. I have found it VERY effective to follow a compliment with a statement like "Will you tell me about it?". Inevitably, my children then begin to label their picture, and depending on what they say I can follow up with intelligent statements. "That is a very nice butterfly! Will you tell me more?"
My second rule is: Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER draw for a toddler or preschooler. If my young child ever asked me to draw something for them (ie. a horse), I have always deflected it and said something to the effect of "Oh, but you draw so nicely! Why don't you show me how you draw a horse!" The reason I do this is because I have experienced & witnessed when you start to draw for a child above their ability, they lose the desire to draw themselves because it never turns out as good. If a child persists and keeps asking me to draw something, I will draw it, but at THEIR level. Horses don't look nearly as nice with just a couple of circles and sticks...but if a child can duplicate it...fantastic!
I have also expand this second rule into later years by not telling my daughters how to do crafts. A perfect example is just this last weekend my daughter and friend had to make 14 thank you cards for their 4-H club. I gave them all the supplies and essentially said "go to it!". The cards look like they were created by 9 year olds...and in my opinion...that makes them just perfect!
I do realize that these rules may not be applicable with every child, but I noticed with my own children that they have a great love for drawing, crafts, and art and feel very proud of the items they create, and I think part of that is because I have done very little for them. They have always had free reign to create and design to where ever their imagination takes them.
I must warn though, there is one disadvantage to following the second rule. My children don't think I have any artistic or crafting talent! During a Super Saturday activity where I was painting and sanding and doing a variety of "artistic" stuff, one of my daughters looked at me astounded and said "I had no idea you knew how to do this stuff!!!!" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
The first rule is: If you want to ask what a picture is, do NOT ask "What is it?". Instead say "Tell me about your picture." The reason for this is simple. If you tell a child they've drawn a really nice picture, and then in the next sentence ask them what it is....isn't that a contradiction? The problem, however, is that in the early stages of drawing it is IMPOSSIBLE to know what a child has drawn. I have found it VERY effective to follow a compliment with a statement like "Will you tell me about it?". Inevitably, my children then begin to label their picture, and depending on what they say I can follow up with intelligent statements. "That is a very nice butterfly! Will you tell me more?"
My second rule is: Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER draw for a toddler or preschooler. If my young child ever asked me to draw something for them (ie. a horse), I have always deflected it and said something to the effect of "Oh, but you draw so nicely! Why don't you show me how you draw a horse!" The reason I do this is because I have experienced & witnessed when you start to draw for a child above their ability, they lose the desire to draw themselves because it never turns out as good. If a child persists and keeps asking me to draw something, I will draw it, but at THEIR level. Horses don't look nearly as nice with just a couple of circles and sticks...but if a child can duplicate it...fantastic!
I have also expand this second rule into later years by not telling my daughters how to do crafts. A perfect example is just this last weekend my daughter and friend had to make 14 thank you cards for their 4-H club. I gave them all the supplies and essentially said "go to it!". The cards look like they were created by 9 year olds...and in my opinion...that makes them just perfect!
I do realize that these rules may not be applicable with every child, but I noticed with my own children that they have a great love for drawing, crafts, and art and feel very proud of the items they create, and I think part of that is because I have done very little for them. They have always had free reign to create and design to where ever their imagination takes them.
I must warn though, there is one disadvantage to following the second rule. My children don't think I have any artistic or crafting talent! During a Super Saturday activity where I was painting and sanding and doing a variety of "artistic" stuff, one of my daughters looked at me astounded and said "I had no idea you knew how to do this stuff!!!!" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Magical Words
I have a daughter...well...actually I have 5 daughters. But this one particular daughter...we will call her "N"...is super sensitive. When she was little, and would get hurt, naturally she would come and cry on my lap. Sometimes for quite a while. Until one day I discovered 15 magical words. They go like this "Stay as long as you need to. You can go play when you are ready." And when I say they are magic...I mean they are magic. It does not matter how badly she gets hurt, or how hard she is crying....as soon as I say these 15 words she IMMEDIATELY wipes away her tears and runs off to play. No joke! I knew validation (a topic I will cover in another post) was important…but I had no idea it could be this magical!
So...I just have to ask...does anyone else out there have magic words that can fix anything!?
So...I just have to ask...does anyone else out there have magic words that can fix anything!?
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